Keep On Keeping On

That's what Tara said, Keep on Keeping on. That's the only option, isn't it?

Well, there's Giving Up which isn't an option and there's Giving IN which is different than Giving Up but also not an option.

So the only option, in spite of the immense frustration that I am feeling, is to Keep on Keeping On.

I have somehow managed to GAIN 4.8 pounds this week. That's what the scale says, obviously that's not truly possible....I think the gain is there but it's not fat from overeating or lack of exercise, it's a symptom of something else. I did some serious thinking during my workout this morning and have come up with the following.

A) I cannot eat bread. Certainly not as much bread as we had this week (I made split pea soup and we ate loads and loads of fresh bread with it). Bread/gluten/grains, whatever. They bloat my stomach and screw with my hydration and make me all sorts of uncomfortable. A bun or a wrap occassionally is no problem. Bread every day, slathered with butter, slathered with peanut butter, dipped in soup, nibbled on at every opportunity is BAD. I firmly believe that I burn more than enough to tolerate the calories...it's the method of calorie delivery that is not working out. Last night, no bread and already this morning I feel a bit better.

B) I am under a great deal of stress, emotional and physical. Home is hard right now. Watching your man suffer and not get better is beyond hard and it's emotionally draining. Doing e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g when it comes to house and food and laundry and shopping and errands and banking and packing gym bags etc is HARD. Going into every store alone while he waits in the car or at home is hard and sad. My body is already stressed and under actual physiological stress (not the superficial stress that people complain about all the time), all the things that your body normally does, it doesn't do anymore, not properly anyway. Digestion suffers, hydration suffers, skin and hair suffer, weight loss and endurance all suffer.

C) I am physically exhausted. Long Jog on Monday after work, 4am gym on Tuesday morning, yoga on Tuesday night, 4am gym on Wednesday and Thursday morning and spinning on Saturday morning is too much. TOO MUCH.

So, given that I have figured out why I'm feeling injured and fragile and exhausted more than I should be, what do I do about it?

Keep on keeping on...with some revisions! Fortunately the prepaid 5 week yoga course is over as of next week and I am not signing on for the next level right now, I just can't pull it off. Also, at the end of next week is the end of April Fitness Challenge. Then I'm starting a new month long plan in May and some of the workouts are changing. It'll all still be on the same days but a couple of days are going to be shorter (but more intense) which will buy me a little more time to do other things...like....sit down. And as far as the bread problem goes, that's just me wanting to eat things I know that I can't/shouldn't. I'll fix that, no problem.

My sister made a good comment on yesterday's post too about rest. I did build in rest days to my schedule, two a week, but I've really only been considering them gym-rest days and although I don't attend the gym on those two days, I use that 'spare time' to get a zillion other things done. What I should be doing at least for a little while on those rest days is reading a book, sitting in the sun, napping or otherwise recharging my battery in whatever way feels right that day.

It's funny how a person can go through life and be an intelligent person, driven and capable and inspired....and still run headlong into a brick wall without really noticing it coming.